how do you want to be?

Hello.

how are you today?

I’ve been thinking about some of the conversations that I've been having and hearing at the moment and what occurs to me is that we are in this really weird transitional moment. I’m finding it exhausting - especially the lack of clarity about what we can and can’t do.

We've got one foot forward in ‘going back to normal’ and then one foot still in lockdown, still restricted and contained. I know that for me, I have also felt quite nervous about meeting people and having to be social again AND having to find clothes that fit me because I've gained weight in the last 18 months.

These anxieties, both personal and shared, added with the rise in people on the edge of burnout show that coming out of lockdown isn’t necessarily making things easier. I’m also hearing many concerns about going back to what it was like before: commuting, workload, life-work balance.

Do you want the life that you had before this? What are the things you want to keep? What are the things you want to lose?

For some people who have suddenly had a lot more work, there’s a tension between wanting to say yes, - because they're excited, because there's money attached to it - but also wanting to not be totally overwhelmed by all of that again.

What’s going on for you?

I have found, for myself and the people I am supporting, that having a sense of our vision for ourselves can be really helpful. Some people find that really hard to think about, you know, what might they do in 10 or 20 years do. But actually, I'm not really asking that question. When I invite you to think about your vision, I'm not thinking about it in terms of an organisational or project vision, or even what you want to do, I'm asking:

how do I want to be in the world?

I want to be brave, happy, light, trusting, creative and kind. I want to be bold and ambitious and compassionate and all of that can feel really hard , especially in this transitional period where things still feel so uncertain and in many ways more uncertain than they ever had.

So rather than think about what the details of your life might look like such as what job you might have. ask yourself, ‘how do I want to be in the world’ and then, how might I embody that right now? How do we be brave? How do we be courageous and kind, and compassionate and loving and happy and funny and playful and mysterious? How do we be that RIGHT NOW?

A way of thinking about this is imagining yourself as the best version - being and doing the things you dream of. Close your eyes and ask:

What am I thinking, what are my thoughts and feelings? What actions I am taking? What am I doing?

And then…How can you be that now?

Why wait? Why wait until you’ve got ALL OF THE THINGS in place? How can you do that right now? What can you be at this moment in time? What is stopping you from being how you want to be?

And of course, notice this in a really loving way and non- judgemental way (not easy!).

As always, would love to know if any of this resonates. Feel free to get in touch or come over to the Do Good and Do Well Facebook group and say hi.