I'm halfway through!
100 coaching conversations: what have I learnt?
I was about to launch my coaching business after nearly two years of faffing about and wondering who I was and what I was doing, when we found ourselves in a global pandemic. I was in the middle of a Clore Leadership course for cultural leaders and had, with the support of an incredible bunch of people, finally made the leap to call myself an actual coach. I felt confident that I had everything I needed to build my own practice in exactly the way I wanted. Then lockdown. It all felt impossible. What could I do?
Well, I thought, why not set myself a challenge to coach 100 people in 100 days, for free. This could serve others in a meaningful way and build my coaching practice. So here we are. Day 36. 55 people. 100 conversations.
In less than two weeks after I wrote my first tweet about the challenge, all 200 sessions had been booked. It was an incredible response and I am so grateful. Here's some of what I have learned:
The reasons people want to be coached are so varied but there are common themes. I never know how each person will want to use the two sessions they have with me. Here are some of the things I have heard so far:
I need clarity. I need focus. I want to be more fulfilled. I don't know how to manage this situation I have at work. I need to say some things out loud, and for someone to listen. I want to feel connected. I don't know what I want. Have I made the right decision? I need more confidence. I feel paralysed. I need to make more money. I'm good at what I do and I want to be acknowledged. My business needs to be more productive. I don't want to do it on my own. I want a new job. Why do I feel like an imposter? Why can't I just get on and do the things I know I need to do? I'm not sure what kind of leader I want to be. How can I better support my team? How can I connect to what I care about?
I wonder if the things I heard are different to those that would have been said if we'd not been in a global pandemic. It seems to me that lockdown has created some kind of life altering spectrum. On the one side it has created total confusion, overwhelm and utter crisis. On the other it has enforced the biggest deep breath people have taken in their whole lives; it has given them time and space to work out what's important and what's not, what to keep and what to lose. So I think it's no coincidence that many people want to talk more about how they are in the world and how they make an impact. And I do love being curious about values and how to live your life according to what you think is important.
My coaching approach is being consolidated in my mind even if the marketing bit is trickier. I believe that everyone has super strengths to help them achieve what they want: they might have gaps in knowledge or skills for instance but they can draw on their sense of curiosity, perserverence and courage to help fill that. I discovered Positive Psychology, and in particular research around human strengths and characteristics (see Martin Seligman), during my time at People United. It has a very important part to play in my work and has been a useful way for me to articulate what my own strengths are, as well as my clients. But this discovery of self, really understanding what you want and how you want things to be isn't easy, and it takes time. It requires learning, unlearning, practice. It requires digging deep, vulnerability, honesty, forgiveness and patience. It requires (my favourite), kindness. And it's my job to create a space where this can happen and people can feel supported.
I still don't quite know who my target market is. I deliberately didn't set about targeting a particular group of people to coach because I wanted to figure out who I like to coach and the kind of issues that I can help support. I've coached a wide range of people from those working in law, health, housing, education and the creative industries, and of all different ages. My coaching even went global! So I haven't entirely worked out my niche yet. "I like to coach human beings on what it's like being a human being" is about as far as I had got. All my experience in my previous work, and my learning from this challenge is telling me that regardless of the issues and topics, I pay attention to the person. I pay attention to human beings and all that being human entails. But I need to figure out my target audience... If I had to narrow 'human beings' down, I'd say that I like to work with those that support other people in their work and who care about making a positive impact on the world. Is that better? I'll keep exploring.
And one of my biggest lessons from this challenge? I'm going to write something now that is hard. I'm good at this. There, I said it. I am good enough (see Brene Brown) and will keep going. I have all the resources I require to get better: I am curious and optimistic, creative and brave. I can build a business that I care about and that helps to pay the bills and for my lavish retirement plans. And goodness, that is so exciting and motivating.
I'll write again when the challenge has finished in September.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.