marketing without the ick

Let’s talk about this idea of marketing without the ick!

First question: How is NOT marketing serving you right now? How is it helpful to you not to share what you do?

Whether that’s sharing your services, telling people how you can help them, or sharing your success.

There’s a reason why you don’t want to do it - and it’s not because you’re lazy or incapable or because you don’t have the latest app.

I think the biggest reason, and this is the reason why you do, or don't do most things is that you’re trying to keep yourself safe. It is safer, or it feels safer to hide in your cave and not to put yourself ‘out there’. It is safer for you to keep those amazing pieces of feedback to yourself and not tell people about how you can help them. Why? Because if you share this stuff, what if people think you’re bragging, or you’re ‘too much’ or they discover…you. are. a. fraud (you imposter, you).

It’s not your fault you don’t want to market your business especially when that’s not your ‘zone of genius’. You (we) have been conditioned to think certain ways about all sorts of things and your lived experiences will impact how we feel. So, it’s not your fault but it is your responsibility if you want to create a financially sustainable business that has a positive social impact. It is your responsibility to figure out what’s stopping you from reaching more people, from bringing in more income.

It’s easier to stay quiet - there’s short-term comfort but it might begin to impact your business in the long term.

There are probably many reasons why you believe what you believe about marketing.

Let’s focus on one of them. And that's around the identity that we have for ourselves - the identity that we hold dear - about who we are and what we stand for.

When you think of people who are marketing or selling, you might think of people like the dad in Matilda, the dodgy car salesman. You might think of someone from The Apprentice. You might think of all those people who are hoarding millions of pounds and are using certain marketing tactics to bring that money to them.

The narratives that we hear, the characters that we see - what identities do we attach to them from the behaviours we notice?

Perhaps they are exploitative, manipulating, self centred. Perhaps we see these people as being driven by money. They're greedy, they’re capitalists, they're greedy capitalists hoarding the wealth, and not sharing it for the greater good.

And this is where some of the ick comes from.

Because when we think about the people who are “successful” at marketing, it can all feel a bit grim.

You identify in a different way, right?

For the most part, the people who come into my world identify as being the opposite. They see themselves as someone who is benevolent, ethical, caring, and driven by helping others driven by the greater good.

If you are attached to an identity that says you’re generous, charitable, kind and good why would you want to behave in a way that might draw comparisons between you and …THEM!

So you lean back, you might lean back so far that you don't show up at all.

You're not anywhere online, you’re not networking, you're not saying anything, you're not sharing anything for fear of being like them.

And being like them makes you feel icky.

What to do instead?

So stop looking at those people as the only want to market yourself and your business. Find the people who share your values, who have an ability to share social proof in a way that feels good, useful, and supportive of your values and supportive of the vision that you have for your business. And remember this:

When our ideas spread, we change culture

Seth godin, this is marketing

The vision I have for my work is that I want more people to make a positive contribution in the world, to feel able to live their purpose, to lean into their values, and do it in a way where they're not sacrificing themselves and not giving and giving and giving (and giving and giving….) until they are completely depleted and burnt out. I want more people to have financially sustainable freelance businesses that are making impact.

The fear factor

Now, if I know that, then it makes sense to record my podcast or press submit on this blog post. Because it's serving the vision I have for my business.

But as well as my attachment to certain identities, there is much fear! Sometimes my finger hovers over that publish button and I re-read the blog post over and over. I re-listen to the podcast episode, I rewrite the social media post. I think it over and over and over, because I fear getting it wrong.

I fear harming others in what I have to say.

I fear being boring.

I fear being judged.

I don't want people to judge me, and think that I'm not good.

Or that I don't know what I'm talking about.

That I'm not intelligent enough…it goes on and on!

Are some of those fears are true for you too?

And what can we do about the fear?

I think that’s about courage. You lean into your courage because you can do hard things. You remember your vision, you find beautiful role models and you practice courage.

Want to go even deeper - check out my workshop ‘Marketing without the ICK’ for more thoughts on this, reflective questions for you to work through, and to figure out your next best step.